Regardless of their gender, everyone has experienced misogyny in one way or another. Perhaps not as a victim, but at least as an observer. I believe that many of us have been in a situation where we saw someone being harassed but did nothing instead. Usually, it’s the feeling of helplessness, feeling “too small” to stand up for somebody, or fear of becoming the new target.
Most of the time, we will feel bad for not helping and looking away. But it’s improbable that we will regret actually helping the person. Instead, you for sure will gain some karma points. Not everyone is willing to stand up for another, especially a stranger. And those who do, we must celebrate.
Reddit user alwaysamensch asked fellow females: “When have you ever seen a man you weren’t dating or related-to step in and correct misogyny in action?” Comments immediately started pouring in, and it turns out plenty of men were brave enough to stand up against a bully degrading a female.
Take a look at what stories women had to share and bless you all the chivalrous men in the world!
More info: Reddit
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A male customer stood up for me and told another male customer who was calling me names and screaming at me inside of a restaurant to f*ck off. He also asked the other guy if this is how he normally treats women or anyone else for that matter. The assh*le never did answer him and he just walked out of the restaurant angry. I thanked the guy who had my back profusely.
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I was conducting the technical portion of an interview for a software developer position and the interviewee interrupted me to question my credentials. Thankfully, the man from HR picked up on this and gave the candidate a very confident NO THANKS.
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My fiancé is a (senior) software engineer and on at least 3 different occasions I have overheard him stop a man who has cut off or started talking over a women, and say something like, “Can you please stop talking, I was trying to listen to what x was saying. X, could you continue or “ummmmm x was talking…….. x, would you mind repeating yourself”. And each time it makes me simultaneously tear up a little with happiness and also get super turned on! I haven’t told him yet that I’ve overheard him
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One of my male physics professors reported a male student in my class for taking lab materials out of my hands and saying “relax honey and let us men do it” and told me to do the write up (us men referring to the rest of the lab group). I just brushed it off even though it was immature because you know, but I was called in as a result of his report and I’ve always been shocked by his dedication to make his classroom a welcoming space. i was the only one who passed that lab assignment because it was only my handwriting on the written portion.
He also backed me up when a department head was treating me badly and helped connect me with tutoring and psych resources for issues I was having. He was never inappropriate; he honestly never really spoke directly to me aside from class. never met another man like him, now that I think about it, especially not in stem.
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I do but I recall one particular time. I was playing video games with my friends like most of the evenings (all boys most of the times and this time I was the only woman). A boy who I didn’t knew join the group for this game night and suddently he tell something REALLY sexist at me. I didn’t say anything at first because I like the calm before the storm and to prepare a really good answer but most of the boys defend me and lash at him so I didn’t have the opportunity to even respond and then, in game they were all bashing him and killing him. I was really surprised in a good way.
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I dont know if it falls under correcting misogyny, but the whole interaction felt misogynistic (gatekeeping). Early on in the MCU days, I had bought a Captain America shirt with just the shield logo on the front. I wore it to work on a Friday. A guy at work asked me if I like Marvel and I was like “yeah! I really like the new movies coming out!”. In response he started quizzing me on the comics. Before I could even get a word out, two other guys heard and shut him down immediately. Telling him gate keeping was lame and to just let women enjoy comics/superhero movies.
It was minor, but this was like 8 years ago and the interaction still sticks with me. Also, the two other guys weren’t really my friends or people I had a relationship to. They just heard him being rude to me and jumped in.
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I work in finance. My first day of my first ever internship, we had a product vendor come in for a meeting with my (male) boss, and my boss decided to invite me to see how I handled it. Fortunately, my boss joined us at the conference table at just the moment when the vendor winked at me and said, “sweetheart, can you get me a coffee while I wait for the meeting to start?”
My boss didn’t even sit down, just told him he could leave and that we didn’t need his services after that.
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It was a random man unrelated to me. Some guy decided to catcall another customer at Starbucks, a college aged woman, and say 2 disgusting sentences to her. I felt terrified and couldn’t muster up the courage to say something and neither could she. A young man who was also at Starbucks, unrelated to the both of us, told him off and said he needed to leave and “we don’t do that here”. Lovely.
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Yes! I was at a Starbucks and there were three men at a table near me. They were East African Muslims. Apparently on his way to Starbucks, Man 1 saw a young woman from their mosque, but she wasn’t wearing hijab or modest clothing- she was wearing shorts and her hair was uncovered. Man 1 said something dumb about “men are going to treat her poorly if she dresses like that, she’s asking to be attacked, etc”. Man 2 said something along the lines of “if you think that way about her, that’s your problem, not hers. she can do whatever she wants.” Man 1 tried to justify his stance by saying she was straying from Allah. Man 3 then said, “I feel so sorry for you! You’ve been in the US for 20 years and you still think that way. Women can dress however they want, man. She can have faith or not have faith and dress how she wants.”
It was nice to hear. No women around except me and some baristas, and these guys were still defending the women in their faith and community who didn’t look “typical”
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When I was in college I was at a club dancing with friends, and one certain dude (total stranger) would NOT stop grinding all over me. I spent literally 30 minutes moving around the club to new spots, hiding, and straight up telling him to leave me alone. Finally the biggest, bro-iest, douchiest, looking frat dude came over and honestly my first thought was “oh no”. But he just calmly took the guy by the arm and said “This is not ok” and led the guy away.
To this day I still feel bad for judging the frat dude based off his appearance because he was an absolute gentleman.
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I was a first year apprentice, working for a guy who runs his own business. He drives us to work every day, and an all around chill dude. One day, I was walking around site carrying a very big light I was going to install, and the site super saw me and turned to my boss who was working on something in the vicinity and said “you sure hired a pretty strong girl there dave” And without a beat, dave (my boss at the time) said “she’s not just a girl, she’s an electrician”
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A male senior lawyer was introducing the female junior I worked for to his client. His client made a comment that she’s easier on the eyes than he was and the senior lawyer stopped the meeting and said “you don’t make those comments, not here, not out there, not anywhere. If you continue to do so we will terminate our engagement. I will not put this woman in a situation where she will be made to feel uncomfortable. If you disagree with me you can find alternate counsel” and that has always stuck out to me. Not many senior lawyers I know would make a statement like that to long standing clients but he drew a hard line in the sand and held the client to it. Granted this wasn’t an extreme situation and everyone was sure the client was just trying to make small talk but that lawyer didn’t care how innocent the comment was, it wasn’t professional and he knew that he had to step in and set some clear boundaries.
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this random creepy guy at night called my legs sexy when I wear wearing heels a and dress that went down to my mid thigh. i called him out for being weird/creepy and he said it was a compliment and i was asking for it by wearing that.
two teenagers or young adults (both young men) were there and one yelled at him saying i could wear whatever i wanted.. i felt so thankful for that, wish i could have thanked him after but we all scattered from the creep.
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Yes, I had a professor (I majored in IT) who said on the first day of class that if anyone said “any BS sexist remarks” about the women in class, they were gone. He then proceeded to talk about how some of the best, most hard working people he knew in the field were women and that he was glad to see the number of girls in class increasing each year. It was amazingly refreshing.
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I had quite bad cramps one night at work(I work as a night filler for a supermarket) and was taking a moment to breathe through them so I was standing still with my eyes closed. I had one of my co-workers who isn’t good at his job come up to me and say ‘you know everyone around you is doing their jobs and you are just standing there doing nothing, you should get back to your fking job’ and before I could saying or do anything, another of my male co-workers comes up stands in-between me and him and goes ‘mate, she fills three times the speed you do, how about you fk off and learn some common decency, you prick.’ It actually made my night.
The guy who defended me has 3 sisters and explained that he has seen the face I was making on his sisters when they have cramps. This guy just turned 18 and is better with the menstrual cycle than a good portion of the men I have met.
I am the only female on the team for reference
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When I was around 19 I was taking the bus home late at night, a dude with aa weird vibe was trying to get my attention and this older man on the bus was watching out of the corner of his eye. I dinged to get off at my stop, which was deserted and the creepy guy stood up too.
The older guy, for right in between us and made him sit down, literally wasn’t gonna let him off the bus to follow me.
Me and the old guy had never said a word to each other but he was totally looking out for me.
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absolutely! a young man stepped up and stopped a guy who was harassing me in a pharmacy, i’ve watched groups of students shut down sexism in class and walk female students to classes or cars. i spend time with a lot of anarchists and have seen so many guys do the right thing inside that community.
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One of my first bosses was ridiculously supportive of women. A lot of us got hired out of high school, so he got to watch us grow up. I can’t count the number of times he would step in and stop comments from either customers or other male workers. He supported any interest you had, made sure you got the experience to know if you liked it or not. He was known for expecting strict professionalism, anything off color was dealt with right then. I am still ridiculously fond of him.
That said, my husband is the epitome of a man’s man to look at him and has never failed to correct someone when they veer into that territory regardless of how he knows them. Gives me a lot of faith in men tbh.
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I was out running, and there was some plumbers cleaning up after a mains sewerage leak, busy hosing down the road. Some young guys hanging around watching catcalled me, and when I ignored it he started hurling abuse and threats. One of the plumbers turned the hose on him and absolutely drenched him. I wrote to the city council who the plumber was working for, didn’t tell them about the hose off but said he had stepped in when I had been threatened. No idea if he ever got any recognition but it was beautiful.
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A random dude saw me in a booth with my date who kept trying to feel me up even though I was saying no. The guy came right over and said to my date “she said no, get out of the f*cking booth.” My date started saying how it was a joke and we were just playing around, but the guy could tell I wanted out, so he just hauled my date out of the booth and I got out and went to the bar to tell the bartender what was going on. My date was banned from the bar and the guy got free drinks for the night.
I’ve also seen my brothers both tell their friends it’s not cool to creep/say misogynistic sh*t to girls. Both when the guys are directing that at me and to other girls. I was picking my brother up from work one day and walked in to wait in the AC and his coworker was saying to a girl that “females shouldn’t play online games because they’re distracting to the men playing” and the girl looked like she was about to say something, but my brother real quick said “dude, Don’t blame your sh*t skills on the girls. When we play you lose just as hard.” His coworker was red in the face and the girl started laughing And I’ve never been more proud of my brother haha