Nobody likes to wait for their friends who are always late. So, the Reddit user Perfect-Extension came up with an idea to avoid waiting for her three friends who are always late to every event.
The OP started lying to her friends about the right timings and gave them an earlier schedule so that they could arrive on time. But when her friends figured out what she did, they were not happy about it and accused her of destroying their trust. The OP then asked the Reddit community “AITA” to know if her approach toward her friends was wrong. Scroll below to read her full story. And if you are interested in more AITA stories, check them out here and here.
More info: Reddit
This woman started lying to her friends about the time so they could reach early
Image credits: ELEVATE (not the actual photo)
But when they found out about it, they got furious
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
According to Harriet Mellotte, a cognitive behavioral therapist and a clinical psychologist in training in London, it’s easy to perceive your late friends as chaotic, rude, and lacking in consideration for others but many people who have this problem are at least somewhat organized and want to keep friends, family and bosses happy. Contrary to Perfect-Extension’s case, the punctually-challenged are often excruciatingly aware and ashamed of the damage their lateness could do to their relationships, reputations, careers and finances.
“While there are those who get a charge out of keeping others waiting, if you’re typical, you dislike being late,” Diana DeLonzor wote in her book Never Be Late Again. “Yet tardiness remains your nemesis.”
Some excuses, such as an accident or illness, are fairly universally accepted even for acute lateness. But most aren’t so easy to swallow. There are late people who will pass it off as a symptom of being big-thinking and concerned with loftier matters than time-keeping, as an endearing quirk, a mark of doing one’s best work under pressure, or having the body clock of a night owl rather than a lark.
After the story went viral, OP gave more context to her friendships
Being consistently late might not be someone’s fault. It could be their type. The unpunctual often share personality characteristics such as optimism, low levels of self-control, anxiety, or a penchant for thrill-seeking. Personality differences could also dictate how we experience the passing of time itself.
In 2001, Jeff Conte, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, ran a study in which he separated participants into Type A people (ambitious, competitive) and Type B (creative, reflective, explorative). He asked them to judge, without clocks, how long it took for one minute to elapse. Type A people felt a minute had gone by when roughly 58 seconds had passed. Type B participants felt a minute had gone after about 77 seconds.
For some, lateness is a “consequence of deeply distressing common mental health or neurological conditions,” said Mellotte. “People with anxiety diagnoses often avoid certain situations. Individuals with low self-esteem are likely to be critical about their abilities which may cause them to take more time to check their work.” And depression often comes with low energy, making mustering the motivation to get a move on only harder.
But Perfect-Extension’s example shows that there are less nuanced situations, too.
Everyone unanimously agreed that the OP was not wrong