We often ignore the red flags that appear right at the beginning of a relationship. Some people shrug them off thinking that it’s just a minor issue while others believe that there is a scope for improving in the other person. But most of the times, people who ignore the red flags end up in a toxic relationship. So, if you are thinking of starting a new relationship, be aware of the red flags listed below.
A Redditor posted a question on r/AskReddit – “Men of Reddit: What are some immediate red flags in men that women should look out for?” Many folks shared their ideas of red flags in a relationship that mostly applies to both men and women. Scroll below to read some of those answers.
More info: Reddit
Pushing small boundaries that aren’t a “big deal.” Then, once called out on it, backpedaling, apologizing for it and then DOING IT AGAIN.
Suddenly flying off the handle at a minor inconvenience. It’s one thing to stub your toe at the end of a bad day and give the table a whack. It’s another if every moment of stress or misfortune triggers rage.
I defer to Chris Rock: If you have been dating a guy for four months and you haven’t met any of his friends, you are not his girlfriend.
A man that blames everyone else for his problems, lack of job, lack of friends, money, etc.
Somene that is unwilling to take personal responsibility for improving his situation in life.
This is one most women learn themselves around high school but still worth mentioning now. If he’s an a*****e to everyone but you, that doesn’t mean he thinks you’re special. It means he is an a*****e but knows how to not be an a*****e in order to get laid.
If he’s cheating on someone else with you, he will absolutely cheat on you with someone else.
If he doesn’t put in an effort to make you happy. It doesn’t have to make you happy whatever he does but the fact he’s putting in the effort means he truly cares about you enough that he cares about your mental health as well. Goes both ways.
Image source: blueboy664
Goes for both sexes… If the person has no hobbies. Now you are their new hobby.
If he claims all his exes were “crazy” or similar. Think for a second about what was the common factor in all those relationships: him.
Tried to find a less common one.
For people looking for a long term partner:
Beware when someone complains about everything and is seemingly the victim in every situation.
This is the type of person that will very quickly blame you if anything goes wrong, and is likely s******g on you to other people already. Secondly, it means you will be perpetually drained by the negativity over the long haul.
Holes in the drywall.
Avoid people who are very polite and charming when they *want* something from those ‘above’ them, but are arrogant and demanding when they think they can *take* something from those ‘below’ them.
People who ‘smile up’ and ‘kick down’ are the worst.
One saying I’ve always lived by is: Pay attention to how they treat waitresses. How they treat waitresses today is how they will treat you in 6 months.
Inability to clean up after themselves or do common household tasks
Sexual pressure after you directly reject an advance. Healthy people with your interests in mind only need to hear no one time and are respectful of boundaries if they bring it up again in the future.
Refusing to admit that they could possibly be wrong. I have seen many men get super frustrated and aggressive over the idea that they could be possibly wrong about something.
To add onto this, many of these same men when presented with the proof of them being wrong they will either deflect or make it seem like it doesn’t matter and that *you* were “making such a big deal about this”.
We are all humans and we all make mistakes. I feel for many of these men they feel stupid and less “manly” if they are wrong about something. Being able to accept your mistakes and move on is a healthy trait.
Inability to say sorry when they do something wrong.
If he checks your phone without permission, that to me is a huge red flag.
Does he talk about always being ready to fight if necessary? Then he’s a lunatic. Well adjusted people in things like MMA don’t want to fight randomly and don’t seek it out outside of the sport of it. Half the point is to have a place for your aggression in a controlled setting.