There are many things one learns after getting into a relationship. Whether it’s the fact that it takes efforts to maintain a healthy relationship or some unusual facts about your partner, lots of interesting and weird things start revealing themselves one after the other as you climb the ladders of a relationship.
Someone recently posed a question to the men of Reddit and asked them “Guys of Reddit, what is something you learned about girls after getting into a relationship?”. Men opened up about the things that found out after being in a relationship with a woman. Scroll below to read some of their answers.
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Honestly? How much unnecessary guilt women carry around with them over everything.
First girlfriend I had (18 at the time) everytime I did something nice would either apologize or promise some kind of sexual reward. At first it seemed hot but after a few times in a row I just told her I wasn’t doing nice things for a reward but because I cared about her. Made her cry and we talked it out afterwards but yeah after that (and just other things I talked to my female friends about) my eyes were opened to how invalid women seem to feel.
That my hoodies are actually her hoodies.
My first relationship I always wondered why my girlfriend would rant at me about things like horrible coworkers, stress dealing with projects etc. and then get mad at me when I tried to talk through the problems, break them down and help come up with workable solutions. My second relationship I realised when women do this, they just want to rant and have a hug at the end. They don’t want your advice, they don’t want a calm, rational discussion about what they can do to make a situation better. Don’t pour kerosene on that fire, just let it burn out.
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That birth control messes with their hormones a lot.
The statement “just do what you want” no matter the tone, means you f**ked up.
That they are very capable of solving their emotional problems themselves. Sometimes they just need someone who listens to their story without them saying whats right or wrong.
• I’m more in tune with feelings and emotions now
• The amount of times women feel uncomfortable by men in day to day situations
What might be a really small thing for me to give her (a gesture, compliment, smile, etc.) can mean a whole lot to her.
Period panties. That special pair that only come out once a month and look like someone wiped up acid with them. Woman’s bodies are amazing, fun, and terrifying in different times and situations.
They shower with lava. At least thats what the water temperature felt like.
They appreciate the gifts you’ve made, even if they’re not good, just the fact that you put effort into making them something
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Until I actually lived with my partner it was hard to comprehend just how often a period comes, how long it lasts, and how much it can affect your day to day.
What a pain in the a*s. I do not envy the ladies.
That relationships take a f**k ton of work and commitment.
Before I got into one, I thought love and passion was all that was needed.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
A real relationship takes so much practical work.
Love, passion, dedication, and trust are the foundations, yes.
However, there are so many more practical considerations on top of that.
Some prominent examples:- Attachment styles.- Finances.- Distance.- Emotional bandwidth.- Maturity level.- Sacrifice.- Commitment.- Discomfort and confrontation.- Learning how to argue and disagree healthily.- Concerns about intimacy and sex.- Power dynamics.- Place in life and relative experiences, sexual and otherwise.
The list goes on.
Relationships are a LOT of f**king work and as I learned the hard way, you could love someone more than life itself and be willing to die for them and think they are your one true soul mate AND THEY CAN FEEL THE SAME EXACT WAY but if these other things aren’t in place, then it will NOT work and you will experience the most soul crushing and excruciating heartbreak of your entire existence.
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That they don’t wear matching underwear all the time. Genuinely thought the bra and panties were always a set. I blame the Sears catalogue.
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A good hug when “nothing” is wrong works wonders.
They tell you to put the seat down on the toilet because they legit fall in if they don’t notice.
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You don’t have enough hangers.
They fart just as much as guys do.
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That morning routine ain’t no joke.
The amount of hair they shed is unreal… Not sure how they still have a full body of hair on their head after a week.
They are more insecure than they let on and we should do our best to not abuse or use those insecurities against them especially in arguments
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Actually the most valuable thing I’ve learnt is be honest. If I’m going to the pub and know I’ll be back late, just be straight up and tell it like it is. Most girls like honesty (seems fairly obvious doesn’t it). The relationship I’m in now has been by far the best because I don’t try to play games which has got me into trouble in the past. Honesty and transparency. It’s the key.
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I learned the most after living with a girl. I started to notice dust and tiny things that just went under my radar. I started taking better care of my skin and teeth after seeing their routine. I appreciated better kitchen appliances. Mostly their ability to turn a living space into something warm and welcoming. A woman’s touch is really something special.
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You have to teach someone how to be a good lover to you.
People don’t magically know how to meet your needs. And they certainly can’t read your mind.
Snuggles are godlike. Clean and organize EVERYTHING. It’s good for your mental health and it gets you respect. This should be first but: “respect others as you wish to be respected”. Bodily autonomy and general “stuff that bodies do” is outside of everyone’s control, let’s all try to manage as we can and let others know if anything is weird. Talk, try, compromise. For the love of all that is holy: trade. I hate doing laundry, but I love cooking and doing dishes. She hates cooking and dishes and anything mucus related. We traded. I cook, I do dishes, I kill the mice, and I clean / take over all doggo snot stuff. She does the laundry and yells if I attempt to touch laundry to help fold. Point is, be dynamic / adaptive: find the difference, what do you want, what do they want. After that, figure out separate hobbies, you can’t be together forever isolated. Do separate hobbies, have separate friends, have faith in each other, enjoy your time together, and make boundaries serious. After that, it’s all you.
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I’m female, but my male partner had no idea that women can’t ‘hold in’ our periods like we hold in pee.
I found this out when he was telling me about a girl in 6th grade who got her period in class, and he couldn’t believe how she just ‘let it all out all over’ (as if she peed in her pants but it was period blood).
I had to explain to him how it works. But I guess, how would he have known? I never thought about it.
Don’t be fooled by her constantly forgetting where her keys and phone and stuff are, she’ll definitely remember what you said word-for-word October 3 2017 at 6:14PM.
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I learned that girls find you attractive mostly for what you do and how you do it, rather than how you look. Guys are more visual in that sense. I’ve been with girls during periods when I thought I looked like s**t but I still managed, somehow, to be attractive in their eyes just from the way I treated others and the way I made them laugh.
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If you can tell something is wrong and you ask them “Is something wrong? Let’s talk about it.” And they say “No”, that doesn’t mean nothing is wrong and they don’t want to talk. A lot of the time they just need time to process. Let it breathe, give some space, and let them bring it up later instead of being pushy.
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Make up is expensive as f*ck.